Hit Me Like A Man
by Sailor-Sutty
Summary: "I hate you Tommy!" I cried "I hate you too!" he spat. Tommy, a conflicted and deeply complicated man returns home to seek some sort of stability in his life. But some things come into your life cannot be ignored no matter how much both of you want to. Tommy and Erika both like to think they're selfish and heartless what happens when their personalities and feelings clash? Tommy/OC
1. Chapter 1

"Stop it! You're family! Families aren't supposed to hurt each other, they're supposed to protect and love each other!" my mother yelled as she pulled me off my sister as I managed to get one more dig at her face that burst the top of her eyebrow.

"I'm fucking leaving!" I said grabbing my gym bag.

"Why can't you two get along you used to be so close when you were kids" she said her breath catching in her throat with panic.

I know this seems like a typical sibling fight but it wasn't. My sister and I haven't seen eye to eye in years. Everything was fine until I showed up on the doorstep looking for a place to stay. Unfortunately my sister was still sponging off my mother's limited means while I stupidly moved out with someone who I thought loved me, Peter, but actually just wanted to use me as a punch bag and of course, me being the little weak girl I was, let him. It was only until he came in one night drunk as a monkey and bet me until I was an inch from death did I decide I needed to do something about this. I secretly began going to the gym, taking the beatings as usual biding my time until after about a year I was lean and strong enough to hit back. I had found a gym that trained boxers and specialised in martial arts so I asked if they could train me. At first they weren't going to do it but once I told them my reasoning and saw how I focused my anger into the punch bag, they were more than happy to have me. I waited and waited and waited until the ultimate test was put before me. I had to fight one of the guys in the gym. The first round I got my arse kicked but then I noticed his moves so when the second round came, I was ready for him. I bopped around and got in around him and managed to knee him in the ribs... So that night I knew it was time. He came home drunk as usual, ripped off the sheet from over me on the bed and climbed on top. He was so drunk he couldn't even undo his trousers. While I waited for him to lose his patience and start laying into me I was planning my attack. I had angled my body so my hands were free to start laying into him. He slapped my face lightly trying to wake me and when I refused I could feel him raising his fist. I caught it mid-air and used his surprise to head-butt him right between the eyes. He fell to the side and I clambered on top and proceeded to pound his face into the mattress. I heard him wheezing under me, his face throbbing along with my knuckles and I knew I was done. I packed what I had left to pack and left.

"Mom, can you not see she's a parasite? She's living off you until you have no more. She uses your money to buy pills and booze for her and her skanky boyfriend!" I yelled as I filled up my water bottle.

I knew she was listening but she knew mom would never believe me.

"Yea coz your guy was a regular Prince Charming" she scowled.

"Where are you going?" my mother questioned ignoring my sister's snide comment.

"I'm going to the gym" I said shoving past my sister in the tiny hallway.

I began to jog, too annoyed to just walk. I was breaking out in a sweat by the time I got to the gym. I said hey to everyone I knew not bothered to get involved with small talk. I went into the same toilet to get changed since there was no female dressing room. I don't blame them; I'm the only female that uses this gym. It's not really worth it for one person. I walked out and saw immediately there was someone on my bag. Mousey brown hair, thick with muscle, tattoos stretched across his thick arms…pretty average clientele of this gym. He seemed pretty engrossed in his workout so I decided not to say anything to him. I walked to the bag next to that one. He didn't even look up as I walked past throwing my blonde hair up in a messy pony tail. From time to time I glanced at this new guy. I had never seen him before, believe me I would have noticed him.

He eventually stopped and took a long drink. He glanced over at me and I looked up.

"Hey" I panted.

He just ignored me and turned towards the ring in the centre of the floor. What a prick. He tore off his gloves and waltzed over. I stopped to take a drink and watched what was going on while my heart beat in my ears. He mumbled something to the main trainer before walking off. Then I heard the main man fighting in this big Sparta match that all the guys have been banging on about for weeks say something to him. He turned back and mumbled something else. I got more curious so I moved more towards the ring as this new guy hopped straight in. He whipped off his hoody and threw it to the corner before getting his hands strapped up with tape. He wasn't going to fight him was he? He'll be killed. I walked towards the ring spraying water into my mouth watching. He looked back around at me again; his stare boring into my eyes before turning back around. I knew this was going to be the last time I'd see him because Mad Dog is going to crush him. But then out of nowhere this new kid threw a sharp kick to Mad Dog which took him by surprise followed by well-placed punches and kicks to the lower body before repeated blows to the head before he was unconscious. It was all over in an instance and I stood there mouth agape. He mumbled something to Carl before hopping out of the ring back towards me.

"What?" he mumbled.

"Nothing…that was amazing"

He just shrugged his shoulders and wiped his face.

"I haven't seen you around"

"Yea and"

"What's your name?"

He just ignored me like I wasn't even there.

"What kind of girl are you, in a place like this?"

"I'm a girl all right just had to deal with an abusive boyfriend that needed to be taught a lesson"

"Stupid fuck"

"Excuse me?"

"Staying with an abusive boyfriend? What kind of dumb bitch are you?" he muttered packing his bag. Unbeknownst to me, images were flashing through his mind of the abuse his mother had suffered, which he was witness to. He shook his head slightly trying to blur the horrible images running through his mind.

"Excuse me but who the fuck do you think you are?" I shouted.

He picked up his bag, fixed his woolly hat on his head and walked past me storming out the door but not before stopping and giving me an icy glare.

I punched the bag in a rage. "Did you see that prick?" I shouted at the trainer.

"That prick just knocked out my best bet for winning Sparta" he snapped slapping Mad Dog's cheeks every so often.

I was so pissed off I worked out and didn't feel the hours roll by. Before I knew it they were closing up the gym for the night. I got changed and went to find my trainer only to run into the owner.

"Hey I'm leaving, see you tomorrow"

"Hey actually hold up a second!" he said shouting from the office.

"I saw you talking to Tommy earlier"

"Who's Tommy?"

"The guy who punched out Mad Dog…you were talking to him earlier, you don't have any info about where he might be now do you?"

"Eh no, I didn't even know his name. I tried but he just called me a dumb bitch and left so we're hardly best friends" I said shrugging my shoulders.

"O ok right well we have an address…anyway I'll talk to you tomorrow yea?"

"Yea cool" I said turning on my heel and walking out the door.

Why was he all of a sudden so interested in that prick?

I blocked that dickhead I had encountered in the gym that day out of my mind. When I got home I noticed the house was in darkness. Where was everyone? I switched on the lamp in the living room and saw my mother asleep on the couch. I crept quietly out and into the kitchen but someone switched on the light before I got a chance. It was Peter.

"Hey Erika" he smiled.

"Peter what the fuck are you doing here? Does my mother know you're here?"

"Are you kidding? No, I crept in while she was asleep, must be whacked out on pills because that was hours ago" he said glancing at the clock.

"What do you want?"

"I'm here because…well I wasn't too fond of what you did last time" he said taking off his sport coat. Looks like I wasn't the only one who bulked up recently. He was a tank. He was always big but it was more soft and flabby than muscle but now…he was ripped and I was in trouble. I knew it; he had come here to tune me up since I did it to him the last time. But this time I was ready for him. Just as I was getting into my starter position another guy I didn't recognise emerged from the darkness of the laundry room. I felt my stomach drop and I started to sweat.

"It occurred to me…since you were Miss fighting champion all of a sudden…" he said taking a long piece of wood out from behind the bin and I noticed cable ties sticking out of his pocket "I thought I'd come prepared…like you did that night" he sneered. This was about pride and ego more than anything else. Peter wouldn't like the fact a girl had knocked him out, that would eat away at him inside.

"Now I'm giving you an option…come home with me now or…well you're smart enough to figure out the rest"

I had already marked the door I came in for my escape but I suppose if you live with someone long enough they get to grips with your moves.

"And don't run…like a rat because if you do who's gonna look after your ma?" he sneered. He laughed lowly to himself watching my reaction. The sudden realisation that I could be leaving my house tomorrow in a box hit me like a fucking train.


	2. Chapter 2

So my options were I could get beaten and possibly killed or I could back to Peter…

"Peter you can fuck off you don't scare me now" I said stupidly facing up to a man with backup who had about 20 pounds on me and a weapon but that was me, a fucking fool.

He sniggered and his mate sniggered as well. He lifted the wooden plank within a blink and had belted me across the face with it. I landed on the ground with a thud my face instantly numb.

"Darren, cable ties!" he mocked as I struggled to gain focus of the spinning room. I felt my hands being dragged behind me and tied tight with a cable tie.

"Do I scare you now? Huh? Ungrateful bitch" he spat.

I tried to turn around onto my back and was met with Peter landing a vicious kick to my face.

"You're not so tough now are you?"

He hauled me up under my arms and threw me on a chair grabbing a fist full of hair forcing me to look at him, my eye already starting to sell.

"You know what..." he spoke as I spluttered up some blood. "You're not looking in great shape for an ultimate fighting whatsit"

"I'm…I'm not a…fighter" I struggled to spit out.

"Yea you're just like all those fucking idiots at that gym you hang out in. Guys who watch too much UFC on TV and think they're the next big thing, think they're actual fighters"

I immediately thought of Tommy, he was probably one of those wankers, breezes in thinks he's the shit, pounds a couple of guys into the mat and thinks he's a machine.

"Why do you hang out with those losers? Why don't you do something with your life?"

"O like you" I laughed lowly which really hurt.

"Excuse me?"

"You push drugs on 15 year old kids, watch them swap needles and diseases while you count your cash in the car and you want to talk about me hanging out losers" I felt my lip starting to swell and burn.

His lip twitched and I knew I had struck a nerve. He struck me across the face, his watch catching the side of my face opening a huge cut right across my cheek. He wiped the blood off his hand and fixed the strap that had come undone.

"C'mon Darren let's go"

"What? We're just leavin her here?"

"Yea we'll be back, don't worry, she ain't going anywhere. Remember what I said about your ma" he whispered in my ear.

He grabbed his wooden bat and walked out the door leaving me there with my hands still tied. I breathed heavily when I heard him eventually closed the front door. I let my head loll back in the chair and the blood slowly trickled into my hair line. I didn't move from the chair until my mother eventually woke up and cut the cable ties. She wanted me to go to the doctor to see if I needed stiches but the last thing I was going to do was explain to my doctor why I looked like someone's punch bag.

"Why were you passed out on the couch? You're not on that shit again are you mam?"

"No I just took a few sleeping pills…I was a bit stressed dealing with your sister" she said handing me a mug of tea.

I held my face in my hands. The last time she was on sleeping pills she nearly overdosed. It was only that I came home from work early and found her that she's here today. But I knew the risks I ran coming back home. Once again I was going to be the one responsible for taking care of my mother.

"Where did you go today?" she said looking into the sink avoiding looking at my battered face

"I'm going to bed" I said taking my mug upstairs.

I cleaned my face and went to bed ready to just forget everything that happened today.

My phone alarm buzzed loudly on my side table. I turned it around seeing 5a.m. blink back at me. It was still dark out but I swung my legs out of bed and rubbed my eyes. I wobbled to the bathroom and the light buzzed on and I waited for my eyes to adjust to the light before I got a look at Peter's work. My face was even sorer now that the adrenaline had worn off. My eye was bruised and puffed out, the cut on my cheek was hot, red and had started to scab and the whole left side of my face was bruised from the bat. I wrapped a scarf around my neck pulling it up over my face and pulled a hat down before putting my hood up and starting my morning jog.

There's something different about jogging at this hour of the morning. The air in my lungs felt clearer and the layer of mist hovering over the cold concrete settled over my shoes. I reached the bridge, the halfway point and I noticed a car over the other side of the bridge. I stopped and jogged on the spot for a moment occasionally grabbing my leg and pulling it up behind me watching to see what the car was doing. I suddenly saw someone come from stretching at the bonnet.

I strained my eyes trying to look through the darkness but I could feel myself cooling down so I had to start back running. I jogged warily over the long bridge and sketched to the edge away from the car and saw the guy stretching himself against the car. He had a woolly hat pulled down just before his eyes and a hood up. I haven't seen him out running here before. Actually I've never seen anyone out running at this time in the morning. I got to the gym and saw that it was totally empty, just the way I like it. I whipped off my sweaty hoody, hat and scarf and threw them in the corner. I heard a creak from the door behind me and saw Tommy trundle out of the dressing room. He kept his head down but his eyes looked up and met mine. He was the last person I wanted to see.

"Morin'" he mumbled. His voice cracked like it does when you haven't spoken since you woke up.

"Morning" I said trying to avoid looking at him. I knew he was looking at my face.

I sat down on the bench and began to tape my hands. Tommy stood there in the same spot and I could feel the heat of his gaze. After I taped up my hands, I looked up and his gaze was still boring into my skull.

"What?" I snapped.

"Sup with your face?" he mumbled.

"Got in a fight"

"In one of those girly fightin' in your bra type fights while old guys jerk off at the side of the ring?"

"No"

"O"

Five more minutes passed and I fidgeted on the bench while he continued to stare. I met his stare and stuck my tongue up under my top lip.

"So who tuned you up?"

"Why do you care?"

"I don't"

"Well fuck off then"

"Fine I dunno thought you might wanna talk bout' it that's all" I think that's what he said his voice faded out into a quiet mummer.

"Why would I talk to you about it?"

He didn't say anything else just started punching the bag. But for some reason all my energy seemed to be gone and I didn't feel like working out. I sat there and could feel my muscles starting to tense, my warm up wearing off. My elbows rested on my knees and I held my battered face in my hands.

"How's the boyfriend?" he suddenly spoke still pounding the bag.

"Excuse me?"

"Well your boy obviously did that to you after you went back to him"

"And how do you know that? Coz you know fucking everything do ya?" I said standing up and squaring up to him.

He looked me dead in the eye and I saw the muscles jutting from his neck twitch slightly. "Believe me I know the look of a woman tuned up by a man"

"You know what Tommy, you don't know shit" I sneered into his face.

His lip twitched the same twitch Peter gets when you hit a nerve. I involuntarily winced, my eyes ready for the beating that inevitably follows that twitch.

Tommy just laughed lowly to himself. "What you think I'm gonna hit you? I don't hit little girls unlike your boy"

For some reason that line made me want to burst into tears. I suppose you only realise how bad something is until you hear someone else say it to your face.

His eyes moved from my eye to my cheek to the other side of my face that was black and blue.

"He belt you with a baseball bat or somethin'"

"Just…leave me alone" I said grabbing my hoody and storming out the door. I wasn't in any mood to fight anymore either with Tommy or the punch bag.

I got home and no one was up yet. I went into my room and lay on the bed thinking until I eventually drifted into sleep. It wasn't a heavy sleep, I remember waking up slightly hearing my mother call my name throughout the house and when she entered my room and wrapped the duvet around me.

I woke up a few hours later still engulfed in heat but my hair sticking to my head with the sweat. I could smell my mother's cooking wafting through the small house but I felt really unwell from the stress of everything and the fact I hadn't trained at all today.

I heard my mother answering the front door as I threw my legs out of bed for the second time today. I couldn't hear what was being said I just heard the mummer of my mother's voice and the muffled voice of the stranger.

"Erika!" she suddenly called as I heard the front door close.

I warily walked down the stairs and met my mother trying hard to whisper but who was in effect shouting quietly.

"There's a boy to see you"

"A boy?" I still think she thinks I'm like eight years old or something.

"Yea he's in the living room"

I jumped the rest of the steps and pushed the door to the living room revealing Tommy walking up and down the room like a lion in a cage.

"Tommy what the fuck are you doing here?"

"You left your scarf at the gym" he said throwing it to me.

"How did you find out where I lived?"

"The contact sheet at the gym…well I'll be going"

He proceeded to walk out the door but was met by my mother who was probably listening in at the door.

"Would you like to stay for dinner?"

"No" myself and Tommy replied.

"Of course you will, strapping young man like yourself, ya gotta eat" she smiled.

So the little woman led the tank by the arm into her little kitchen and sat him down in the wooden chair at the dinner table that creaked under his weight.

"So Tommy what do you do with yourself?"

"I'm a fighter"

"O really, my Erika is quite the little fighter too"

"Yea I know she is, we train at the same gym"

I sat down and watched them have a whole conversation about me like I wasn't even there.

"How come she's never brought you home before?"

"Ah I just got back into town" he said eyeing up the steaming dish my mother just put on the table. "Needed this old vet to help me train"

"What are you training for?" my mother smiled handing him a plate.

"Sparta" he said staring straight at me.

I raised an eyebrow and reached for a plate.

I love you all btw, just thought I'd let you know :) All my readers and reviewers of all my fanfics and I am working on updates for other stories so dont worry :) You're all heroes

-Sailor


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys! Hope everyone is well, here's my new chapter for Warrior. I put a new chapter of my Dark Knight Rises story if anyone else is reading that and I'll have another one up soon :) So enjoy and just once again I love you all :D Enjoy!**

**-Sailor**

After dinner and the probing by my mother into everything to do with him and his family Tommy eventually got up to leave. It's funny he didn't seem interested in talking to me at all at the gym. He barely spoke two words to me on any given day and yet he was yapping happily to my mother as he went for seconds and third helpings of her Shepard's pie.

"Thanks for the dinner Mrs Coonan, it was greatly appreciated" he smiled.

He smiled, he actually smiled. I have never seen him smile and it pained me to admit but he actually had quite a warm, friendly, welcoming smile. But as soon as he turned to me, that smile was gone and it was the frosty face of the Tommy I knew from the gym. My mother hung back in the kitchen to clean up but was watching me as I walked him to the door out of habit more than anything else.

"I suppose I'll see you tomorrow"

"Yea…" I said flatly. "I normally go for a jog in the morning first" I said really just for something to say to fill the awkward silence.

"So that was you" he laughed.

"What?"

"I was thinking it was you that ran past me the other morning. I was stretching my legs against my old man's car and you sketched by"

"Your old man?"

He stopped before the door and turned around to continue the conversation. Tommy's huge shoulders made the already small hallway seem even smaller and we were inches from each other but the distance between us was greater than ever.

"I thought you trained with an old vet?"

He licked his lips and looked down at the ground. "Yea he's my pop"

"Why didn't you just say that?"

"Because I don't consider him my father" he sneered.

I got the feeling not to push it.

I didn't say anything and he sighed heavily. "I'll see you tomorrow I guess…" he said his hand on the doorknob. Before he got a chance to open it someone from outside pushed the door causing it to knock against him. It was Peter.

"This is very cosy" he said pushing his way past. "So Erika you've got a meat head here for protection" he sniggered.

Now Tommy had at least about 20 pounds on Peter but Peter was taller.

"Excuse me?" Tommy growled squaring up to Peter.

"You can speak can you?" he laughed.

"Peter, stop"

"So what you're the new squeeze, are you?"

"Tommy, go I'll talk to you tomorrow" I said standing between them trying to get Tommy out the door.

"Yea Tommy, go. This is a private matter" said Peter putting his arm on my shoulder to which I immediately pushed it off.

"So what so you can take up where you left off?"

Peter's lip twitched and I knew this was going to end badly. Besides I didn't need Tommy here, Peter didn't have back up or a weapon so I should have been able to handle this. Also my mother was in the kitchen so I wouldn't imagine Peter would do something while she was there

"You think you're a big man beating on a little girl?"

"Hey!" I protested. "Can we please dial down the male ego and testosterone here? Tommy! Go!"

Tommy met Peter's stare and reluctantly opened the door. Just as he had a foot out the door, my mother appeared from the kitchen.

"You scumbag what are you doing back here!" she screamed. "This is my house and I'm not afraid of you and I will not be pushed around in my own home, so get out!" she yelled at Peter who was slightly taken aback.

"No offense, but this has nothing to do with you"

"If it concerns my daughter then it has something to do with me"

Tommy took this as his cue to grab him by the shoulders, drag him down the driveway and throw him onto the street. "If I get a snifter that you come back harassing those women, you'll have me to answer to" I heard Tommy growl.

My mother of course, loved this. For a woman that spent the majority of her adult life being mistreated by men she didn't half love having them around. She even used to say a woman needs a good man in her life. What happens if she gets attacked in the street or if she needs something on top of a very high shelf? She made a point to tell me as long as he's not like your father.

"Mother, I don't need him fighting my battles" which she ignored.

Tommy strode back up to the house to which my mother hugged him and thanked him and I physically felt ill.

"Tommy I didn't need you to do that"

"Yes we did!" hissed my mother.

"No we didn't Mam! We survived perfectly well without a man in our lives for years! Why do you think we need one now! Peter doesn't scare me!" I said getting slightly over emotional due to my anger bubbling over. "What's the point in me training and working and sweating if you think I need some big strong knight to save the day?!"

I ran up the stairs and locked my bedroom door. I didn't even mean to get that angry but every feeling I had for Tommy was gone in an instant. I wasn't even thankful for him throwing Peter out because I could have done that myself. Whatever little time I had for him before was now completely gone. I don't even know how long he stayed if he even stayed at all after my little outburst. I woke up the next morning after getting very little sleep and got changed into my sweats. My sister was falling up the stairs obviously just getting home stinking of whiskey, tripped into the bathroom laughing. I picked her up and threw her outside and she was even too drunk to protest. My needs were greater than hers besides I had a gym schedule to keep, she was just a drunk. To my surprise, my mother met me in the kitchen clutching a coffee cup at the table.

"Ma…it's like 5.30 in the morning" I croaked.

"I know, I know what time you get up at"

I looked at her puffy eyes, she had been crying.

"Ma, what's wrong?"

"I just want you to be safe"

"Jesus Ma don't start"

"Erika…"

"Are you seriously telling me you got up to tell me this?!"

"Look I've been around the block. I was with an abusive man for years…and I know a good one when I see him"

She was not so subtly referring to Tommy.

"Ok, first of all I'm not going back to Peter I thought that was clear?"

"But how many times did I say that darling? Tommy…"

"MA! You don't even know him! You met him for an hour at dinner…and actually what makes you think I need a man at all? Let alone some meat head who doesn't know the difference between a ding dong and his elbow?! And while we're going down this road, Tommy doesn't like me, I can assure you of that! Now I'm going and I don't want another word about this are we clear?"

"Just…"

"Ah!"

"Ok I'm just concerned…"

"Yea well Ma here's a newsflash, I'm not as stupid as you! I wouldn't repeat your mistakes!" I said before storming out the door.

Ok that was really harsh on my part but it needed to be said. Maybe now she'll shut the fuck up about Tommy. I pulled my hood over my head and started jogging towards the gym as the sun yawned and began to stretch its muscles.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys! Hope life is going well for you all and I hope you're enjoying the story so far :) Thanks for my reviewers and generally everyone who has read it, I love you all. That's it really I hope you like this chapter and sure why not stick an aule review if you're so inclined. Thanks guys! Love you! **

**-Sailor**

When I got to the gym, the place was totally empty as usual. I threw my stuff in my usual corner and went to the bathroom to fix my hair. I noticed my face was healing nicely, the bruising was still there but the cuts weren't as sore and the scabbing had stopped any infection. But I still looked awful I can't sugar coat that. I walked back out, sat down and started taping my hands. The door opened and I immediately looked up expecting…except it wasn't Tommy. An old man hobbled in his knees clearly not what they used to be.

"Excuse me, have you seen my son? Big guy…tattoos"

I could only imagine who he was describing…

"Is his name Tommy by any chance?"

"Yea that's him you know him?"

"Only know him to see" I lied fixing the tape tight around my hands. It seems that lately nothing in my life can happen without Tommy or someone related to Tommy being involved.

"He's supposed to be here getting warmed up…we're going to the yard" he said glancing at his watch. "He's training for Sparta you know…" this aule fella was just gonna keep on talking no matter how much I didn't listen. "Yea asked for the ole man's help and sure why not, gets me out of the house. He talks about all these new training techniques but I tell him there aint nothing wrong with the old ways. Picking up a tractor wheel and pushing it forward, keep the ole shoulders in good nick" he just kept going. "Very proud of him I am. Used to wrestle as a kid you know…"

Then the door to the dressing room nearly swung off its hinges and Tommy bounded out. He walked past me, ignoring me and grabbed his bag, pulling out his water bottle. He walked over to the fountain and began filling it up while his father continued to praise him.

"Very proud of my boy, really glad he's back home I gotta say" wow this guy clearly wasn't aware of how much of a douchebag his son really is. "Do you fight yourself?" he said clearly wondering what was going on with my face.

"I fought a few times, but nothing major. I really just do the training"

"Yea you know those fights where women claw at each other in their bras drowning in spunk from the old guys around the ring. Not proper fighting pop" mumbled Tommy screwing the cap back on his bottle. I noticed he had a few cuts and lumps gone out of his hands, stupid fuck probably thinking he doesn't need gloves to fight anymore because he's 'o so tough'.

I shot him a glare but I thought better of it than to call him a prick in front of his elderly father.

"Tommy that's not a very nice thing to say" he said fixing his cap.

"Fuck off Tommy will ya" I muttered.

"Don't worry I'm going c'mon pop" he ordered as he walked out the door.

"Right so Tommy, it was nice chatting with you…"

"Erika"

"Erika. Have a good day kid" he smiled.

It was nice to have the gym to myself I gotta say. It was nice to just do my work out without worrying about arguing with Tommy…was kinda quiet though. I figured I'd go out for something to eat after my workout just to do something different. I walked the few minutes up the road from the gym to the café and sat in a booth. I noticed the waitress and I knew she recognised me by the way she was looking at me. She used to go to school with me.

"Erika!" she exclaimed.

"Hey Sarah how's things?"

"Ah shit, stuck in this dead end job" she mumbled realising her boss was only feet from her.

"Did I not hear you got accepted into college?"

"Yea dropped out…wasn't for me so I packed it in and came home and now I'm here. What are you up to?"

"Ah nothing much, I moved out a while ago but it didn't work out so now I'm back home. Been at the gym a lot"

"Yea you've really bulked up; do you do boxing or something?"

"Yea mixture of that and a couple of other things, I'm thinking of entering some competitions you know test the waters or something"

"Yea totally! You're built for it…actually now you mention that, some guy dropped a load of flyers in here earlier…" she said looking through the pocket in her apron. "It said something about female fight night…" she said pulling it out. "Sure might as well check it out…"

A loud cough came from the suit behind her and she looked back around rolling her eyes. "Suppose I should get back to work…you want to order something?"

"Yea sure, can I have a diet coke and the BLT?"

"Sure no problem" she smiled "It was nice catching up, we should go for a drink some evening"

I nodded and smiled while she went to fetch my drink. It was a shock to the system seeing her working in a shitty café. She was the bright star of the class. Good at everything, took higher levels subjects when they didn't even offer them at my school. I believe I heard a few teachers refer to her as 'gifted' and now she was stuck in a dead end job going nowhere. She brought me my dinner and wandered off to clean some tables. At graduation she was the one all the teachers told us was going to go far while the rest of us were stuck here forever. I glanced at the leaflet she put on my table. It read "Female fight night! Watch the sexist women in the world of boxing and martial arts battle it out for the grand prize, 500 dollars! Parking lot of Spearmint Rhino, Friday night 11.30" I mulled over it while eating my dinner…looking around and watching Sarah after her fall from grace really made me think about my own life. I think it's definitely time to get serious…

"Well look who it is" I suddenly heard from behind me. Before I got a chance to turn around my sister slid into the seat in front of me.

"What do you want?"

"Well I was just meeting Damian here, grab some food before we head out" he said with a sickly smile on her face.

"What are your plans for the evening?" I asked more so out of habit than actually out of care.

"Just heading back, watch a movie etc."

I raised my eyebrows pretending to still be listening. I knew what etc. meant, stick up with the same needle and pass out in the living room.

I chewed on a bite of my sandwich along with the crisps that were haphazardly thrown on the side of the plate. I glanced at the scar on her eyebrow, I still felt good I burst her eye, not going to lie but she was smiling like a fucking tool and it was really irritating me.

"What the fuck are you grinning at?"

"Someone had a visitor today"

I ignored her. I wasn't going to play into her hands, begging her to tell me who it was, she was such a child. I cleared my throat and continued eating.

"Don't you want to know who it was?"

"Not really, no"

After about a minute I knew it was killing her that I didn't care.

"He was a beaut" she grinned. I immediately knew who she was talking about.

"I don't care; don't forget though you do have a "boyfriend" if you could call him that"

"Seriously I would dump him for this guy"

"True love is officially alive and well"

"His body is just…" she made a noise I can't describe although I would imagine its some noise she makes during sex.

"That's right" I sighed chewing on a piece of lettuce "It's all about the physical…"

"Shame it wasn't me he was interested in talking to…" she said in a really sarcastic tone.

"Jamie"

"Yea?"

"I still don't care"

"Well he seemed to care a lot. He waited there for a good hour after ma insisted of course. He can really talk you know. In fact I got the impression he had something serious he needed to say to you…" she said clearly fishing for answers. Although the man she described certainly doesn't sound like the Tommy I know.

"Jamie no offence but you're a drunk and a junkie. The day I start taking your impression of a conversation on board is the day I officially lose all faith in humanity"

This seemed to just roll off her back because her only response was a slight shrug and robbing some crisps off my plate.

"So I have a question…where does someone like you, because let's be honest here just ew" she says referring to my whole demeanour and attitude I'm presuming "meet an absolute beaut like him"

"Jamie…"

"And actually are two going to be like dating now? Coz that's majorly weird…"

"Jamie…" I sneered again.

"And you just know Peter is going to have something to say about you two banging each other"

"Jamie!" I roared banging the table. "This has got nothing to do with you and if you go mouthing off to people saying what you just said you're gonna find yourself in serious shit I'm not messing" I sneered, something inside me fearing slightly that Peter might hear and seek us out.

"Fine…Jesus sis it's always nice chatting to you" she said getting up. "Fuckin bitch…" I heard her mummer under her breath as she walked away.

Tommy, Tommy, Tommy, he seemed to just be a reoccurring character in my life which just pissed me off more to be honest. He was at my house again today, what does he want now? I grabbed the flyer, threw the money on the table, said bye to Sarah and headed for home. I got to the end of my driveway and fished through my bag for my keys when I heard a car door creak open across the street. Someone got out and called over, it was Tommy. I rolled my eyes and I could feel a growl come from deep within my chest.

"You're fucking waiting outside my house watching from your car like some sort of fuckin serial killer? The fuck's the matter with you?" I said walking over to his beat up car.

"I wanted to talk to you and I wasn't sure what time you'd be home"

"What is it?"

"Sit in the car"

I crossed my arms not moving.

"Sit in the fuckin car" he ordered.

I pulled open the door and sat in my anger already starting to boil over. I threw my bag onto the floor and waited for him to speak.

He looked even bigger in the small car also helped by the fact he appeared to wearing two jumpers and a jacket.

"My pop told me he chewing the ears off you this morning…"

"Tommy seriously…"

"Seriously will you just shut up for two seconds and let me speak!" he yelled. Clearly speaking to me is such a herculean task he feels the need to fill it with small talk before actually saying anything of value.

I closed my mouth and told myself that I was going to let him speak. Even though when I tried to talk to him the first day I met him he ignored me and threw many an insult at me…but I was holding that for a later argument.

"Has your boy been back?"

"No" I snapped.

"Have you spoken to him?"

"No"

"That's because he'll find it hard to talk with no teeth"

"What? What did you do?"

He gazed out the windscreen that was starting to get foggy from the inside.

"He needed to be taught a lesson" he croaked.

"I can't believe I'm hearing this. You smashed his face in?"

"Pretty much yea" just like that, like it was nothing "he won't be bothering you again"

"And why did you take it upon yourself to do this? That wasn't your decision to make!"

I could tell by his face he wasn't telling me everything.

"What?"

"He was going to kill you, d'ya know that?"

I crinkled my nose in disgust.

"I overheard him talking in a bar about you that night. He was going to wait for you to come out the gym one evening and get you while you were walking home, smash your head in with a pipe or somethin'. He didn't know I could hear him or who I was; I had my hood up so I waited outside for him…"

"So instead of telling me you decided to take matters into your own hands"

"Yes because…because you wouldn't have been able to handle it I know about these things!" his voice suddenly cracked and he punched the steering wheel in anger.

"How would you know?"

"I couldn't stop it before…" he said his eyes becoming glazed over "when I was a kid…and after he tuned you up with the bat…since I could stop it this time I decided I would…" suddenly all this raw emotion I had never seen before was coming to the surface. "I get it you're tough…but it's not just about being physically tough…my ma was tough…and yet we had to drive across the country to…to get away…you have to be mentally strong as well…and you say you could handle it and yet he just kept coming back…"

I was getting slightly confused but I decided not to ask questions and while his whole story was hitting me hard in the chest I had to retain a tough exterior…that's just the way I was. The air was getting heavy in the car and the emotions were certainly running high. This was a side to Tommy I had never seen before

"So to make you feel better you tuned him up, well thanks a bunch Tommy you've effectively handed me a death sentence. Tell me what happens when he's all healed and out for revenge and you've fucked off to Atlantic City for Sparta in a few weeks never to return? We all can't just fuck off at the drop of a hat you know! Who's he gonna be coming looking for when you're not around huh? Who's he gonna beat to a bloody pulp or possibly kill? Can you answer me that?"

Tears formed in his eyes but only one or two fell showing his raw interior, the interior he kept hidden from everyone, every day. His breathing jolted and got caught in his chest as he tried to control it.

"No I didn't think you could" I said my own voice cracking involuntarily out of fear. I slammed the car door and walked into my house and didn't leave my bedroom for two days.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys! How's things going with you peeps? :) Hope you enjoy this chapter, I love all my readers and reviewers. I was watching Warrior last night and Tommy deffo needs some loving but is Erika capable of it? That's it for now so enjoy folks! :D**

**-Sailor**

After about a week of sitting around the house eating and watching TV I could feel my body starting to turn to mush. I couldn't face going to the gym and seeing Tommy after the bust up we had. There were many reasons for this but none that I would like to discuss…but I'm not going to lie, I was scared. And I never admit to that. I was scared for me and as much as I hated to admit to myself I was scared for Tommy as well. Peter knew dangerous people I know he's in hospital counting the days. Tommy was leaving for Sparta soon and the chances were he wasn't coming back so maybe it was for the best. Hopefully I could convince Peter not to smash my head in with a pipe or maybe I'll have done something with my life by then and I won't be here. But for now I was sitting in my house trying to avoid any contact with the outside world. But I knew my constant presence in the house was getting on my mother's nerves.

She came into the sitting room while I was watching television and perched herself on the couch adjacent to the arm chair I was sitting in. I knew she wanted to talk so I stared at the screen avoiding eye contact with her.

"Erika" I knew that tone of voice, she was pissed.

"Ma…"

"Why haven't you been going to the gym?"

"Don't feel like it"

"Erika"

I turned up the Steve Wilkos show to try and drown her out.

"We both know what this is about"

"No we don't" I hissed, my fuse starting to burn out.

"Yes we do…I met Tommy with his father in the store the other day"

They must follow each other around or something.

"He told me what happened"

"So you two are like BFF's now?"

"He told me he hasn't seen you in the gym"

"And what did you tell him?"

"I didn't tell him anything, I know what you're like…but he told me what you said to him…about when he leaves for Sparta and now it all makes sense…it was only when he told me exactly what happened that it all started to fall into place"

I turned the television up again.

"I'm your mother I know you inside out. You don't want to get close to Tommy because he's leaving for Sparta…and since Peter you're so afraid of a repeat of that that you don't want to feel you need to rely on anyone"

That thing I didn't want to discuss earlier was now spilling out in front of me.

"I don't need anyone Ma!"

"You only think that, you're just afraid of your own feelings! You think the best way to keep your heart from being broken is to pretend you don't have one!"

"Why can't you get this through your head…?"

"I know your dad wasn't a good man but you can't think all men are like that and Tommy is a good one I know he is. And you can't use one bad experience as a basis for the rest of your life"

"So what do you suggest?"

"Tell him"

I snorted in derision. "I hope you're joking…Ma I don't care what you think you know. The fact of the matter is Tommy has come into my life and caused nothing but trouble and the sooner…the sooner he leaves for Sparta the better!" I said feeling my throat close up. Tommy has just burrowed under my skin and I can't get rid of him.

"You can't see it can you? You two are cut from the same cloth"

"You seriously need a life of your own"

"I just don't want you to throw away something that's in your best interest because you think everyone is out to get you"

I lifted myself up out of the chair and stormed out the door leaving it swinging open as I bounded towards the gym. I threw the double doors opened and everyone stopped what they were doing and looked up.

"Where is he?" I growled at Mad Dog who was standing in the ring.

"Tommy"

"Tommy Riordan?" I could see in his eyes his name still bothered him ever since he pounded his face into the mat.

"He's in the dressing room" said another meat head spitting out his gum shield.

I ran towards the door with little male sign on the door and threw myself at it with barrages of "you can't go in there!" but no one was going to stop me. I breathed through my flared nostrils scanning around looking for him. I walked into the locker room and found him lying on the ground with his legs stretched up against the wall, his arms spread out and his hands taped up.

"Tommy! Get up!" he leaned his head back, his eyes rolling up and glaring at me.

He lifted himself off the ground and straightened up. He had that same look of disinterest he always has plastered on his face.

"Tommy!" I roared and then I just screamed I had no idea what to say to be honest so I punched a locker and screamed. He stood there the same stance and look.

"Tommy, stop telling my mother stories ok! You have caused nothing but problems in my life!"

"What because I care enough to do something to make sure you don't get your head smashed in!"

"Tommy! That is none of your concern!" I yelled, the words spilling from my mouth laced with saliva, my lips quivering, adrenaline pumping through my veins causing my whole body to shake. I marched over and spat the words inches from his face. "What happens when you leave me here?"

He grabbed my shoulders, swung me around and smashed me against the locker. "Why can't you just be thankful for what happened?! He was gonna kill you! Why can't you get that through your head?" he growled.

"And why do you care?!"

He opened his mouth but closed it just as quick.

"Get your hands off me! You like to think you're a big man?!"

He growled to himself, his neck muscles shaking with fury and he punched the locker just over my shoulder.

"Tommy! You're leaving for Sparta and you're not coming back! You're just making this too difficult!" my voice cracking. His nostrils flared and his striking eyes met mine. I balled my fist and landed it directly into his eye. He inhaled deeply falling back slightly and I took this chance. I tackled him to the ground and started kneeing him in the ribs. He grabbed my arms and pushed them behind my back before wrapping his arms around my waist and flipping me onto my back. He put all his weight on top of me his knees on each side of my ribs.

"I fucking hate you Tommy Riordan!" I snarled both our sweat and saliva mixing together as we wrestled. I reached up and I dug my nails into his face.

"Fuckin' bitch!" he barked repeatedly as he blocked my punches and tried to keep me down. I got a free hand and grabbed a clump of brown hair twisting him back before I belted him with an uppercut. He fell back and I scrambled to my feet with him soon following. His nose began to bleed and the cut on my cheek had opened up again, a trail of blood falling from the edge. He didn't hit me once though.

We stood there both panting heavily and then he strode over and grabbed my neck between his two huge hands, resting his forehead against mine. I clamped his neck with my hands and squeezed as he was doing with me. Beads of sweat formed and rolled from our faces down our necks. His breath was hot on my face and mine on his. His eyes gazed brutally into mine.

"I hate you Tommy" I gasped.

"I hate you too" he wheezed.

He suddenly and aggressively clamped his lips on mine out of nowhere. I felt my lips open and I reluctantly allowed his tongue to dart inside my mouth. The only thing that I could hear now was our deep inhales of breath before he shoved me against the lockers with a horrendous bang. I nipped at his plump bottom lip and dug my nails into his neck not relenting from the initial kiss as his hands that were clasped around my neck tightened. We both pulled away but only from the kiss, our foreheads were still pressed tightly together and we held each other in our own death grips. We didn't say anything, for once nothing needed to be said.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys! New chapter, hope you guys like it! :D Thanks again to everyone who reads, follows and reviews, would love to know what you guys are thinking about it :D So here we go, lota emotion in this chapter, so enjoy :) Tommy really is an amazing character I love writing him fair play to Tom and the writer, amazing work. Anyway I'll stop now, enjoy :]**

**-Sailor**

I don't know how long we stood there his dark orb eyes looking between my icy blue pools but someone eventually walked in and interrupted us. Tommy leaned away and got a slightly frightened deer in the headlights look before grabbing his bag and rushing out.

"Tommy…" I called but he ignored me and rushed out.

I suddenly got that all too familiar hollow feeling I usually got when I felt my whole life collapsing around me.

I got home and slammed the door. My mother was standing in the kitchen cooking something and got a big bright smile on her face when I walked in.

"Well how did you get on?" she said her tone changing seeing the blood on my cheek and my cut re opening.

"Not well!" I yelled throwing myself into chair.

And then to make matters worse my skanky sister walked in dressed like a cheap hooker, or how she usually looks in other words.

"You look like crap" she remarked.

"Thanks because I feel like shit" I said resting my face on the table.

"Is life not all sweetness and light with that absolute beaut Tommy? Don't tell me you've fucked that up already. Just let him sit there and look a total babe that's what I'd do, he's just a fucking ride! Uh! I could just spread him on a cracker"

"You know…shockingly this isn't making me feel any better" I muttered into my sleeve.

"Jamie…ssh" said my mother obviously knowing I was one more snide comment away from bursting her face wide open.

"What? What's going on?" she said obviously feeling left out.

I got up and grabbed my backpack searching for that flyer I got about the female fight night. Tonight was Friday so it was on tonight and if I won, that 500 dollars could go a long way to get me out of here.

"Do you kids want some dinner?"

"No" I mumbled reefing through my bag but I couldn't find it, I must have dropped it. But I remember it said it was beginning at half eleven.

"Ma can I borrow your car tonight?"

"For what?"

"I need it to get to this fight night thing that's happening up at the Spearmint Rhino"

"That strip club? Are you telling me they're letting you strip? You? Look at the state of you" added my sister.

"I'm not stripping; shut up you skank…Ma there's a fight on there, 500 dollar prize"

"You're not gonna get hurt are you?"

"Ma I'm tougher than all the yokes that are gonna be fighting in this"

"Ok…" she said not fully convinced "The keys are hanging up"

"Thanks Ma"

"How come I never get to borrow your car Ma?"

"Because you'll sell it for drugs you junkie fuck" I snapped closing the door and going upstairs to pack my bag for tonight.

I sat into the car and threw my bag in the back seat. By the time I got to strip club, it was about half ten but men were already queuing up to get their seats as close to ring as possible. I grabbed my bag and walked up to the ring, the guys drinking from cans and wolf whistling in my direction. I thought I recognised a few of them. The guy in the ring came over and looked me up and down.

"Don't tell me you want to enter" he scoffed.

"Yea, why what's wrong with me?"

"You're a bit…"

"What you think I don't look good it's just coz I'm wearing baggy clothes"

"Well show us the goods"

I rolled my eyes and whipped off my hoody which caused more howling and whistling. Seeing the guy's reaction he smiled warmly and nodded. "Ok you're in!"

I sat in the dingy dressing room surrounded by stick thin, sickly girls who were probably strippers on the side. I taped up my hands and glanced at my face in the mirror. The bruising was nearly healed but I still had a bruise under my eye and my cut on my cheek. They called us from the dressing room and the first fight of the night was underway and as I suspected they were all terrible. Their technique was flawed and all over the shop and basically they just looked like they were having a pillow fight. Although the men at the side of the ring looked like Christmas had come early. I was called up and was up against some yoke called Krystal with a k. I tackled her straight away and climbed on top throwing digs into her face. The guys were on their feet cheering taking a mental photograph for when they come home to jerk off. I fought three women and the last one pulled out seeing the other ones being carried out of the ring unconscious. I was brought into the ring and announced as the winner. Everyone cheered and as I walked out past the crowd into the dressing room while being met with obscene insults and hand gestures. A greasy man with a silk shirt, cigar and gold chain hanging around his neck approached me in the dressing room.

"Hey baby you did great! You coming back next week I'll have no more volunteers if you keep hittin' the way you're hittin'" he smiled "But the guys love you! I was talking to a few outside and boy they loved it, we're looking at double the volume of customers next week" he smiled. I saw the dollar signs appear in his eyes but I just tuned him out.

"Yea, yea, yea can I have my money?" I said taking my hair down out of my pony tail.

"Of course here ya go" he said handing me an envelope. I did a quick count before shoving it in my bag.

"So next week my new little foxy boxer" he said putting his fists and laughing.

"Yea maybe" I said shoving past him

I thought about it as I walked to my car…if I did like five or six fights that'll be more than enough to start life somewhere else and do some fights there until I have a good stash and see where I go from there…but just as I reached into my pocket to get my keys I felt a horrendous pain in the back of my head and I collapsed to the ground. I saw two pairs of feet and heard a voice from behind me. A set of arms picked me up and dragged me across the parking lot and into a van. They threw me up against the side and I saw three sets of eyes glaring down at me.

"So you got your body guard to tune Peter up?"

"I swear I didn't know what he was going to do!"

But then I felt a sharp stinging sensation in my eyes as they sprayed what I think was pepper spray in my eyes. I felt like I was blind and opening my eyes was impossible.

"I swear" I whimpered, my tough exterior now in shatters "I didn't know he was going to do anything, he did it off his own bat!"

"Where is he?"

I took a deep breath ready to give them precise directions to where Tommy trains but then something stopped me.

"I don't know…"

"Yea you do"

"I don't I swear I would tell you if I did! There's no way I'd put myself in this position if I knew where he was!"

I knew they were going to beat me to a bloody pulp it was only a matter of time. But then out of nowhere a pain like I've never experienced before came right under my breast. One of them had dug a knife into my ribs.

"Are you sure you don't know where he is?"

"No! No! I don't…I think he's left. He has a fucked up relationship with his pop so the last I heard he was leaving to fight in Vegas" I panted, every breath feeling like my last. The pain was just indescribable. I felt the knife being twisted as they continued to interrogate me.

"You know something!" one of them roared clearly getting frustrated that I wasn't giving up Tommy.

"I swear if I knew I would tell you" I cried, the pain was just unbearable.

"Alright…fuck her out, she knows nothing." one of them grunted. I felt the knife being ripped out and I was thrown out of the van onto the cold concrete the only thing visible being the blinding light of the street lamp above.

"Our regards from Peter" they sniggered as the van door slammed and they drove away.

I felt warm liquid running out of me onto the ground and knew I was going to die. Here in the parking lot of a strip club, with nothing to my name and no legacy. Then I blacked out.

Then I heard myself thinking. Wait? I'm alive? Where am I? I moved my head from side to side and my eyes opened very slowly, everything a blurry haze. I blinked a few times and my vision became a bit clearer. My mother was sitting beside and immediately started fusing once I woke up. She had about six nurses and doctors in who said it was fine, just don't get me excited or let me talk too much because I basically only had one lung working right now.

"I can't believe someone did this" she wept.

"Ma, please this isn't helping" I croaked.

"I should have never let you go to that fight that night"

"Ma" I said trying to assert some authority but it was too painful.

"Who did it?"

"Does that matter?" I coughed slightly.

"Yes it does! You nearly died" she sobbed.

"God really I didn't know that…"

I felt my side ache so I decided to stop talking altogether.

"You were out for 2 weeks honey" she choked out.

"2 weeks? Fuck…" was all I managed to muster.

"You lost so much blood it was only when a group of guys who were at the fight saw you and called an ambulance…Tommy was here as soon as he heard"

I knew it was only a matter of time before she mentioned him.

"What? How'd he hear?"

"I told his father"

"Ma! What are you doing still meddling in my life?"

"He was very concerned; he stayed here for over a week, never leaving the room. He asks the nurses to clear it with him before they let any visitors in. Asked who they were, what relation they were to you, specified only family allowed in, questioned them before they came in to prove they were who they said they were and insisted he stayed in the room with you while they visited. He had to tell them he was your husband so they'd meet his demands" she laughed slightly.

"Yea must have got a pain in his arse coz he's not here now is he?" I sneered.

"His father got concerned he wasn't training enough for that big fight thing he's involved in but he didn't seem too concerned"

"Sparta…" then it hit me Sparta was this week.

Just as I was having that epiphany, a knock came on the door. It was Tommy.

"Mrs Coonan would you mind if I talk to Erika alone?" he said in the usual super polite manner he uses with my mother.

"No problem son" she said getting up. She patted him on the shoulder as she met him at the door and waited outside. Tommy came in and sat down, the same sullen exterior, except there was a twitch of vulnerability when he placed his hand over his mouth like he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"You're awake" he sighed. "What happened?"

"What's it to you?"

His lip twitched but I was too tired to be any more sarcastic so I sighed heavily and began telling him what happened.

"Then they bundled me into a van, sprayed pepper spray in my eyes, interrogated me then stabbed me in the ribs"

"Interrogating you about what?"

"They…they wanted to know where you were"

"And why didn't you tell him?! They would have let you go!" he barked.

"I didn't know where you were…I don't know where you live"

"That's bullshit Erika you could have told them anything and you should have they would have let you go!"

"What and then they'd come after you!" I said as loud as I could but the pain in my side was excruciating.

"Yea and?"

"Well excuse me for being a selfish bitch and sparing you! These guys are dangerous Tommy!"

"I know but I've dealt with worse than those scumbags…I was in the marines after all…"

"You were?"

"Erika…" he said grabbing my hand "You should have told them"

I got a weird feeling when he held my hand; he had never done it before…

"Yea well I wasn't about to give you up to them…shouldn't you be at the gym?"

"I told my pop I was at the yard lifting tyres…" he said his eyes hitting me dead. "I'm not going to Sparta"

"What?" I said nearly choking on my own breath.

"I know what's important…"

"Yea, that 5 million dollars!"

"Yes…there were people who I would have liked to benefit from that money…but at some point in time you've got to look to the future and not remain trapped in the past…"

Sometimes I have no idea where the shit he spouts comes from.

"Tommy you are going to Sparta"

"Then I'm taking you to Sparta with me" he said squeezing my hand so hard I could feel my IV moving in my veins.

"Would ya fuck off I have one good lung and can barely move" I laughed, well what passed for my laugh now.

"Well then I'm staying here"

"That's just stupid Tommy"

"Those bastards stabbed you"

"Do you not think I know that? How is you staying here not competing in Sparta gonna help? Tommy…this doesn't sound like you at all"

He let his head drop slightly and I just about heard what he said.

"You do something to me kid…"

But just as quick as he opened up not too loud to let me know but still, he clamped up again.

"You're a fucking fool not telling them where I was"

"Tommy" I said sitting up. I knew there was only one way to convince him to go. I had to let my guard down. Then what my mother said finally hit me about us being cut from the same cloth… He looked up and I placed my hand over his own already clasped on my other hand. "I promise if you come back I will be here waiting for you" Now I wasn't sure if I even believed my own words but I said it anyway to make sure he did what was best for him…I think that was the first thing I did something that benefitted someone else that didn't indirectly help myself in any way.

"Tommy I need you to go to Sparta…"

"And you'll be here?"

There it was, doubt. Clearly we were more alike than I thought, he didn't even believe me.

"Yes I will"

He leaned over and kissed me gently and something inside began to hurt and it wasn't my lung.

"I am sorry Erika…you were right when you said what would happen when I leave you…if I could take you to Sparta with me I would…but I promise I won't leave you again" he said before walking out. For some reason I didn't totally trust what he said because as much as I liked to believe he would come back for me when he hit the big time…I had a feeling he wouldn't, maybe because he was too like me and I didn't expect to still be here when he arrived back.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys! Thanks to everyone who is still reading, reviewing and adding to faves and the people who added me to their fave author and author subscription. I love you all!**

**-Sailor**

The doctor told me I would make a full recovery except if I was running in cold, dense air like early in the morning I wouldn't be able to run very far without a sharp pain racing through my lung. So that was the end of my 5a.m runs now. I also wasn't going to be able to work out as long as I used to and was going to have a horrible scar. It wasn't so much the physical scar but the mental scar.

"Doc, I'm finding myself waking up at night struggling to breath. And when I put my hand over my lung when I wake up with shock I can't feel myself breath, I can't feel it…it's like I'm dead"

"Well…the mind has a way of playing tricks."

I looked past him and saw the coverage of Sparta was starting.

"You think I'm imagining it?"

"No…" he said sitting down on the edge of the bed. "Your body has experienced a trauma, a serious trauma Erika. It needs to recover itself and that takes time, both physically and mentally. Body and mind are connected" he said pointing between his head and heart.

"When can I go home?"

"Well making sure you stay at home you can leave tomorrow. You've just got to keep up the antibiotics to ensure there's no infection"

"Ok thank god because I actually hate staying here"

"Well as long as you keep up the medication and stay at home on bed rest and come back for regular check-ups you should be fine" he smiled before leaving the room.

For the rest of the day I watched the Sparta coverage they talked to every contender and did profiles on each. The war on the shore had officially started. But Tommy was nowhere to be seen. No press conference, no pictures nothing. But that was typical Tommy.

I was awoken that night to my phone buzzing loudly and I immediately placed my hand over my chest and couldn't feel anything but the panic subsided as I realised I was still alive. I picked up the phone and glanced at the screen, the light in the dark blinding me. I answered it and croaked some inaudible words into the phone.

"Erika?" I heard on the other end, a very timid voice but familiar.

"Tommy?" I whispered sitting up in the bed seeing the shadow of a nurse walk by the door. They were like Nazi's in this ward when it came to phones.

"Erika…"

"What is it Tommy?"

"Erika…I was just with…on the beach…and I don't know…" he choked out his breath catching in his throat. Then I heard a growl come from his chest…and then the line went dead.

I rang the number back straight away but it just rang out.

* * *

The next day I was discharged and brought straight home by my mother who had everything set up for me. I immediately put on Sparta and saw the first fights were starting. I was watching for about an hour when I heard him call Tommy's name and I felt my stomach drop. A camera panned in front of him as he walked out. No music, no advertisement on his clothes just a black hoody. He pulled it off him when he got to the ring and they checked him, his mouth, behind his ears and everything while the commentator mentioned how little they knew about him.

"This guy just seemed to appear out of nowhere! He was a YouTube sensation after his fight with Mad Dog and that's how he seemed to start"

"I know but did you see that fight? Tommy Riordan decked that guy in minutes! And you should see him train! Amazing!"

"Yea but you gotta remember the bag doesn't hit back"

The camera panned to his opponent and then out to a woman beside the ring. "And that's his wife there, as we've seen there's no one here for Tommy at all. This guy just seems to survive by himself"

"A lone wolf" the other laughed.

"Yea exactly and I think we're about to see how the lone wolf's reacts to all these people"

"Look at that Tommy has no one there…" remarked my mother folding a blanket.

"Mother" I snapped.

"This guy just looks ready to destroy anything that gets in his way"

"Yea but I still think he's a one shot guy, he'll be shown for what he is as soon as he steps in the ring"

"Ah I think you're being a bit unfair" laughed the commentator.

"Well we'll see how your boy fairs now" he said as the cage door closed and the lights flashed.

Something in my stomach dropped as the door locked. I tried to fight the feelings that were rising inside me for Tommy. I hated myself for letting him get under my skin like this especially since I know for certain I haven't been allowed under his skin like that.

He looked pumped, his nostrils flared, the film of sweat that draped all over his body defined his muscles especially his traps. They caught the light and as much as I didn't want to admit it, he looked unreal.

"Let's go to war!" shouted the ref and the match started.

The first couple of seconds, they were scoping each other out, lightly tipping off each other and then out of nowhere Tommy struck one fatal blow and his opponents head fell back like a rag doll and he collapsed cold on the mat. The commentators were nearly out of their seats and the crowd were on their feet. He lay motionless on the mat as the ref went over and slapped his face getting no response. Tommy paced around like a caged animal reaching into his mouth and whipping out his gum shield, his wild animalistic eyes turning around boring into his opponent's lifeless body. He breathed in deep through his nose before throwing the cage door open ignoring the cheers, screams, praises and protest from the referee. He stormed out of the arena and was gone. It was over in minutes. I couldn't believe it; he had knocked him out with one blow. Clearly this wasn't the Tommy that had rang me the other night, this man was determined in what he wanted, not the emotionally unstable young man who couldn't even explain his own feelings to me on the phone.

"Did Tommy just knock him out?" my mother said clearly a few minutes behind everyone else.

"Yea…" I said not really sure what I had just watched.

The commentators were rendered speechless. To be fair I don't think anyone saw that coming. The next match started and everyone focused on that but I could tell that Tommy's amazing performance was glued in everyone's mind.

"Now I didn't think he was a violent man like that" my mother said her voice visibly shocked.

"What? He's a fighter"

"I know but whenever I have dealings with him he's not like that at all…"

"Yea well you don't know what's going on inside someone's head"

"That's true…I suppose all that business with his brother…"

"What?" I said turning down the television.

"His brother" she said as if I'm supposed to know what she was talking about.

"You're gonna have to give me more than that"

"His brother, they don't talk, goes back to years ago…he's actually fighting in this as well"

"What? How do you know this?" I snapped.

"His father told me"

"And you decided to keep it to yourself?!"

"I thought you wouldn't care…" she said sarcastically.

But then something else bothered me about what she said.

"Wait…did you say his brother is fighting in this? There's no other Riordan in this"

"His brother is Conlon"

"Then who's Riordan?"

"That's his mother's name…" she said softly.

"O…but why doesn't he speak to his brother?"

"Well…" but then she closed up. "I shouldn't be telling you this" she said getting up.

"Why not? Ma, I think I should know!" I said the frustration getting to me.

"No, it's Tommy's business" she said closing the door. "If you want to know why don't you ask him?" I heard her muffled voice say from kitchen.

"You could just tell me" I snipped.

That phone call still troubled me though, it shouldn't and it annoyed me that it did but I wasn't about to put myself out at all, especially with my gammy lung and especially for Tommy. He may be digging under my skin but I still had to think about number one. But then I got that pain, that pain I got when he kissed me, that pain I got when Tommy was sneaking into my mind and switching my whole ethos around. I put my hand over my chest and felt my heart beat slowly and dimly. I took a breath and felt only one side of my chest rise. I took another deep breath trying to dull the pain but it wouldn't go away.

"Tommy Riordan, the man, the myth, the machine!" spoke the commentator as he matched up who Tommy was up against next.

I breathed in slowly but felt nothing on my right side.

"Fuckin' Tommy Riordan" I sighed heavily trying to stop the pain.

Sooner I get out of here, the better.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey guys! Kinda short chapter but hope you enjoy it :) Update will be soon don't worry :D Thanks to all my readers and reviewers. Also just on a side note if anyone has watched 'The Take' it's a mini series Tom Hardy starred in and there's no category for it here so it's under misc TV shows so it's kinda impossible to find so if anyone is looking for 'The Take' fanfiction I have written one so check it out if you're so inclined :) Thanks guys!**

**-Sailor**

I sat for the rest of the day watching Sparta…well actually I tell a lie. I sat in the chair, Tommy running through my mind while Sparta was just background noise. Then I decided to switch the station, but just to sports news to see what else was going in other sports but Sparta was breaking news, except it wasn't about any fight. A soldier appeared and I only caught the end when he said "he saved my life, me and everyone else in that tank…" Then a very blurry armature video appeared of a solider literally pulling the door off a sinking tank, it was Tommy. I turned the TV up full volume just in case I missed something.

"So there you have it, Tommy Riordan, the war hero! Another line to the rich tapestry that is Tommy Riordan!" exclaimed the presenter. "The man literally pulled a door off a tank!"

I couldn't believe it. The video stopped just as it zoomed in on Tommy pulling the soldiers out. He looked different…he looked like the guy who called me the other night, lost.

My knee shook, I went totally numb and a feeling I have never had before taking over me. I wasn't even listening to what was going on and then before it even registered with me I was picking up my house phone from the hallway and dialling the number for the hotel the fighters were staying at. Tommy really was a complex man of many layers and as much as I hated to admit to myself I had definitely fallen for him, even if he didn't feel the same way.

"Hello Round Hall Hotel, how may I help you?"

"I'm trying to get in contact with someone, could you connect me to the Riordan's room?"

"I'm sorry what did you say your name was?"

"Erika I'm Tommy's…niece" I said clenching my eyes avoiding the obvious answer to that.

"Ok…I have no Riordan's…" she said suddenly more suspicious of my obviously false family connection.

"O it might under my a different name…Conlon"

"Ok…I have two Conlon's. Paddy and Brendan…which is it you wanted to be connected to?"

I suppose there's no point contacting his brother I doubt he'd be with him.

"Eh Paddy, thanks"

The line went silent and then the ring startled me slightly. After a few rings I was going to hang up when a raspy voice answered.

"Hello?"

"Hello is that Paddy?"

"Yes…who's this?"

"This is Erika you know Tommy's friend from the gym?"

"O yes Erika, how are you? How's your mother?"

"We're good thanks, listen is Tommy there?" I said not really wanting to get into small talk with his dad.

"No he's not" he sighed. "He's in the casino…it's like I don't know him anymore…he's a different boy…" he said. He sounded like he was on the verge of tears.

I honestly didn't know what to say to be honest, what do you say?

"Mr Conlon I really need to talk to Tommy" I choked out.

"I know but God knows when he'll be back, what's so urgent about it?"

"Well he rang me the other night and he didn't say anything just said he was out on the beach and then he hung up I tried to ring him back but nothing…"

"O…" he said taking a different tone. "That would have been when he met up with his brother"

"What?" I said my throat suddenly going dry. Why would he call me after talking to his brother, he never even mentioned he had a brother to me.

"Yea they had words…I apologised to both of them but they were having none of it. Don't think they can forgive their old pop to be honest"

"Mr Conlon, I need to speak to him" I said not accepting the fact I wasn't able to talk to him. I don't even know what I would say but I figured I would know it when I heard his voice.

"I know that kid but he's not here…I'm going to go and see him in the Casino do you want me to give him a message?"

I thought for a moment. "No there's no message, thanks Mr Conlon" I said before hanging up.

Ok clearly something in the universe was there to keep me and Tommy apart. I went into the kitchen and sat down my mother jabbering about something.

"Ma…Tommy is a war hero" I said cutting across her. I could barely believe it myself.

"What?"

"He was in the marines…he saw a tank sinking with soldiers trapped inside and he pulled the door off and saved him"

"Wow…so he is a good one after all" she smirked.

"Ma…I need to talk to him but he's not in his hotel room…"

"When's his next fight?"

"Tomorrow"

"What are you gonna do?"

"I don't know…I don't even know what I'm feeling right now"

"You've realised Tommy is everything that you've ever wanted and you're scared in case he doesn't feel the same way"

"Well…what if he doesn't? I mean he rang me the other night, babbled something and then hung up"

"What did he ring for?"

"I don't know, his dad said it just after he had words with his brother…he sounded upset"

"So he has a family crisis and out of everyone he rings you…does that sound odd to you?" she smiled.

"I don't know…" I mumbled. She would just be insufferable if she knew she was right.

"Why don't you go out to him?"

"What?"

"Go out to Atlantic City and see him!" she urged.

"No, I won't be doing that"

"Why?"

"Because first of all I can't afford it"

"I'll pay for it!"

"No Ma…"

"Erika, this is one of the only times I will push you to take my money but I seriously think you need to talk to Tommy. He's a complex man and you need to tell him clearly"

"Ma, he'll probably just laugh right in my face"

"He won't! And he needs you now more than ever especially with all that business with his brother. He needs support, he needs you at the edge of that ring cheering him on he's got no one!"

"I don't…"

"And he's so lovely and sweet" she added in just at the end.

"I can't go to Atlantic City…"

"Yes you can!" she said reaching into her purse that lay on the window sill, plucking out her credit card.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello everyone! Hope you all had a good Christmas! :D Thank you for all the lovely reviews and I am sorry this has taken a while, I'll try not to leave it so long again :) I also have a new Lawless fic if anyone wants to check it out, just thought I'd give it a mention so here we go and please leave a review I do love reading them :) I love you all! xoxo**

**-Sailor**

Three hours later I arrived in Atlantic City. My stomach didn't settle through the whole flight. My gym bag hung off my shoulder as I marched through the airport outside to the taxi rank. I flung my bag into the back of the cab and sat in. My stomach had a constant dull ache which I tried to ignore.

"Round hall hotel" I said before he even asked.

"Oh, you with one of those fighters?"

"I suppose you could say that…" I said staring out the window.

"Big guys they are" he said flicking his indicator.

"Yea they are"

"Bringing a lot of business to the city"

"Yea…" I said not really wanting to talk to him. If I'm being honest, I felt so sick with worry that I couldn't bring myself to form words. It felt like if I said too much I would actually puke everywhere.

When we pulled up outside the hotel, I threw the money at him and grabbed my bag. I raced into reception throwing my bag on the floor.

"Paddy Conlon" I panted.

"I'm sorry who are you?"

"I'm Tommy's sister…and I really need to see him it's a family emergency"

"Oh ok…" she said clearly frazzled by my apparent panic.

"Room 207" she said sliding a spare key over the desk to me.

I grabbed the key along with my bag and ran to the lift. When I got to the door I stopped dead in my tracks. What was I going to do? Go in and just tell him I never wanted to be without him again? That was a stupid plan…I put the key card in the door and saw the green button allowing me to enter. I pushed the door open but saw or heard no one. I closed it gently and looked around. I saw the living room was messy strewn with empty liquor bottles, couch cushions thrown around, tables knocked over…it definitely looked like Tommy's room. I looked into the bedroom and found him. He was lying on the bed, his dad lying in his arms looking like he was unconscious. Tommy had his arms wrapped around him holding him tightly to his chest. His eyes looked up and stared directly at me.

"Erika…"

"Tommy"

"What are you doing here?" he said his clutch on his father not relenting.

"Tommy I had to see you…after you called me that night I just couldn't stop thinking about you…what happened to your dad?"

"Relapse…"

Tommy folded his father's arms and laid him fully down getting up and coming towards me.

"I saw your video…of you in Iraq…" I said quietly as he led me out of the room.

"Yea…it was nothing"

"What? You saved those men's lives! You're a war hero"

He simply shrugged and sat on the sofa. I sat next to him putting my hand gently on his knee.

"How can you shrug that off? You are an amazing human being!"

"I was on my way home after deserting my company…does that scream war hero to you?"

I wasn't expecting that I must admit.

"But still Tommy, if you weren't walking by at that time those men would have died! You saved their lives and you can't just shrug that off"

"Well how come I can then?"

"Tommy, how can you not see how amazing you are for doing that?"

"Because I couldn't save the one person who mattered the most to me, he died out there…" he said, his voice choking slightly.

I didn't know what to say to that to be honest, I didn't want to ask because it was clear he didn't want to talk about it, but before I got a chance to reply he spoke again.

"I can't believe you're here…" he said shaking his head.

"I needed to see you…you…you mean a lot to me" I whispered quietly. So quietly I don't think he even heard me because he just gazed out in front of him like he wasn't listening. So I tried a different approach. I felt like I couldn't come out and directly say what was in my head so I had to go a roundabout way of saying it.

"I had to come and see you. My mother mentioned your brother…"

His head suddenly shot up, his glassy eyes gazing at me.

"What?"

"No she didn't tell me anything…she just mentioned it and I thought you might need someone in the crowd to support you"

I figured it wasn't my place to tell him that it was actually his dad that told me that he had met up with his brother.

"I don't need any support" he sniffed.

"Tommy…"

He pushed my hand off his knee and stiffened up.

"I don't need to rely on anyone!"

"I just thought…maybe you'd like to see someone at the side of the ring cheering you on"

His eyes hit mine as I babbled on but I felt him slipping away.

"I mean I understand what it's like to have problems with siblings…"

"Erika, I'm sorry I didn't mean to ring you that night if this is what you're basing this on" he coughed.

"What? But you rang me…you said my name"

"I know but it was a moment of weakness…one which I soon got over"

I felt like someone had just shot me in the chest from close range.

"Tommy…please…" I said trying to calm myself down. My mother's words echoed in my head and I tried not to lose my temper so easily.

"I'm sorry…you've wasted a trip here if you think that I'm that weak, I'm anything but that"

"But you sounded so lost and…I figured I'd come here and be there for you, we can support each other…it wasn't weakness…Tommy I don't think you're getting what I'm trying to say" I said holding back my hurt and anger, trying to explain my feelings but clearly not doing a very good job.

He looked over at me, his eyes wild with anger and mistrust. "I'm not lost; I know exactly what I'm here to do. I don't need anyone" he sneered

But then I couldn't hold it in any longer, I lost it.

"Well fuck you Tommy!" I roared standing up. "You like to strut around thinking you're this lion, this machine that doesn't need anyone and you know what? For a long time I was the exact same…but then you came into my life and I started to question that!" I choked out, trying not to show my emotion.

His expression didn't change, like it never did when I'd talk to him before. He just stood there looking through me like I wasn't even there.

"But now I'm starting to see…when you said you were gonna come back for me, you didn't mean it did you? Somewhere inside me I knew you wouldn't because you're too like me…but I stupidly listened to other people and thought you would! That you actually cared about me!" I screamed.

"Erika…I just…I don't…I can't…" he started but his mouth just opened like he couldn't put into words what he was trying to say, but there was no stopping me.

"Well you can go and fuck yourself" I said heading for the door but I turned around to say one last thing. "And when you came to see me in the hospital and told me you were never going to leave me again…well that was clearly bullshit because here I am…I came to be with you and you just push me away, well that's fine. As long as we're both being honest here…I hate you Tommy!"

I slammed the door and ran to the elevator, slid down to the ground and burst into tears as the doors closed over slowly.

* * *

I sat in the bar charging drinks to my mother's credit card, tears rolling down my face, thinking about what had just happened between me and Tommy. I can't believe I listened to my mother and came here. What did I think I was actually going to achieve? That Tommy and I would just ride off into the sunset? We were too messed up in the head for that. I don't know…and as much as I hated to admit it to myself, my feelings for Tommy were never stronger, but I wasn't about to admit that to him now, especially after what he told me. I was so depressing even the bar man didn't want to talk to me, which was understandable.

A guy came in and sat beside me ordering a coke and asked if he could use the phone. I glanced at him, my drunken eyes trying to focus. He's a fighter…I think. After he was done with his phone call, he glanced at me sideways before sipping his coke.

"Do they let women fight in this thing?" he asked in a thick accent.

"What?" I slurred.

"You look like you've been shown a thing or two"

"Yea…don't ask…" I said chugging my whiskey and asking for another.

"Ah I'm intrigued now"

He had a slight cut on his cheek and a stupid grin which just pissed me off even more.

"What's your deal?"

"Nothin' just wondering what your story is…you're built like a fighter but you look as emotionally stable as a bag of rats in a burning meth lab"

"Thanks"

"Guy problems?"

"You don't know the half of it"

I turned to him in my drunken state and he seemed to have an air of charm about him.

"Erika" I said holding out my hand.

"Brendan Conlon" he smiled back.

Something inside me jumped slightly and I ordered another for me and a drink for Tommy's brother. This was going to be an interesting conversation.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hello everyone and happy new year! :D Thanks to everyone who is reading and reviewing I love all of you! You all rock! So here we go new chapter hope you like it and stick a review on here if you'd like, I love knowing what you guys think :) xoxo**

**-Sailor**

"So are you fighting in this?" I said feeling my brain rattle around my head. I really should slow down on the whiskey, especially since I wanted to remember this conversation.

"Yea sure am…just rang my wife there, she doesn't really approve"

"Women" I snorted.

"Oh boy I know" he laughed. "Like we need the money, badly" he said sipping his drink.

"Really? You know money isn't everything…" I sniffed.

"Ah I know that…but the bank is on the brink of taking our house so that money would go a long way"

I gulped more of my whiskey preparing myself for his tale of woe.

"Your family mean a lot to you?"

"The world" he said turning his head to me.

"Wonder what that's like…"

"You and your family don't get on?"

"Ah my mam's alright, it's my sister" I said emphasising sister watched as his ears pricked up.

"Ah siblings never get on…"

"You got brothers or sisters?"

He looked into his glass swishing what was left of his coke while his whiskey sat waiting for him. The silence was deafening for what seemed like forever.

"Yea, I got a brother" he said quietly.

"Oh…you two not get on?" I said playing as stupid as I could which was easy enough considering I was half cut.

"Unfortunately not…he's a complex guy…seen a lota shit…and our dad wasn't a great guy either, that didn't help Tommy. And then I suppose I didn't help…"

"Why, what did you do?"

He looked at me with a sad smirk. "You don't really wanna hear about this, do you?"

I shrugged my shoulders pretending I wasn't dying inside wanting to know what he was about to say.

"If you wanna talk about it"

"Well to cut it long story short, when Tommy left with my ma…I was meant to meet them there but I had already started a life for myself and I never went…"

"Why'd they leave?"

"My old man, well he wasn't good to my ma. He used to beat her up and eventually Tommy had enough…"

"So you and him don't talk?"

"No, well I haven't seen him in years, that was until I found him fighting here…shockingly he still hasn't forgiven me"

"What happened?"

"Well there's one thing you gotta understand about Tommy…"

I involuntarily leaned in a bit closer to him.

"He doesn't say a lot…"

Duh.

"But he thinks a lot about stuff and when he talks, his words can cut through you like razors…because it's all built up in his head for so long that when he spits it out, it's like acid"

I already knew that, but at least it wasn't just me he was like that with.

"And when he left, I never got to see him or mam again, well he never got over that and then it all came out when I met him the other night…told me I was full of shit and I was no brother of his"

I could tell this was paining him, if only Tommy knew how much pain he caused. I reached over and put my hand on his shoulder, more out of sympathy than anything else. He wasn't the best looking son out of them, sure was ugly but I felt bad for the guy.

"Aw Brendan…that's too bad, I'm sorry to hear that"

"I still love him…he's my brother after all"

"Yea I mean, you never stop loving them, they're family" I slurred.

"Exactly…well I've told you my problems, it's your turn"

"Ah not much to tell, I've travelled to be with a man who I thought felt the same…and then he basically tells me I've been imagining it…"

"Well are you sure you didn't imagine it?"

"No he called me…and well things were always frosty between us…but I thought we had made a break through. I know I haven't always been the easiest person so get on with but I figured if I softened up he would too, how wrong I was" I said taking another sip.

"Maybe you too aren't meant for each other"

"Yea you're probably right"

"Is he fightin' in this?"

I nodded swishing the alcohol around my mouth, feeling it hit the back of my throat.

"What's his name?"

"Ah I can't tell you that" I laughed.

"Ok, I understand that considering I might be fighting him" he laughed.

"Yea…that's it exactly. When I was in hospital he told me he was never going to leave me alone he actually told me he was going to take me to Sparta with him and then with the other side of his mouth he's telling me everything I based my feelings on is wrong…I don't know, his mood swings are really starting to give me whiplash"

"Well speaking as a guy…he sounds like a prick"

"That he is" I sighed.

"So what you came here to tell him you love him?"

"Well not in so many words…you don't understand what it's like between us…we're not good at expressing our…feelings so to speak"

"Ha! That sounds familiar"

"What?" I said realising I had said too much.

"Ah nothin' just sounds a bit like Tommy"

"Well, all men are like that"

"I tell my wife I love her everyday"

"That's different"

"How?"

"She's your wife" I snipped taking a long drink.

He shook his head clearly not seeing my connection.

"You got through that awkward phase…"

"I don't ever remember what you described happening to me and my wife"

"Well…actually you know what, never mind. Can I have two more whiskeys please? You want anything?" I said turning to him.

"Eh, no I'm good" he said.

"Well I don't intend to return home sober"

"You leaving today?"

"Yup"

"When'd you get here?"

"Today"

"So your boy said all this to you when you first arrived?"

I nodded and gulped my whiskey.

"But you seem like a nice girl, wonder what his deal is"

"Beats me, I know how hard it is for him to open up but I would have been there but instead…he just lost the plot. I don't know maybe it's for the best. When he reaches the big time, he might meet some girl who is right for him"

"Would you not even stay until the end of the tournament? See how he gets on?"

I looked at him and something inside my head whispered I should stay.

"Ah I don't know" I said starting on my second whiskey I had just ordered. I could feel my lips going numb with the alcohol and my eyes droop over.

"I'm sure he would appreciate you staying at least until the end, who knows might change his mind"

"Ha! Nothing is gonna change Tommy's mind" I burped.

But me of course being absolutely hammered, what I had just said only registered with me after a few seconds.

"Oops" I said as I saw his expression change drastically.

"Did you say Tommy?"

"Nope"

"You did!"

"I didn't! I just said it coz you…you said it" I slurred.

"Tommy has a girl, I can't believe it!"

"Well if he does, it ain't me"

"I can't believe this...and he's being a total prick to you?"

"Yup, so I'm heading home" I said downing my drink and picking myself up off the stool.

"What? No you can't give up on Tommy"

"Excuse me?"

"Tommy needs someone like you in his life"

If someone says that to me one more time…

"No he doesn't! Have you not been listening to what I've been saying?"

"I know, I know…but no you can't leave!" he said grabbing my shoulders holding me in place.

"Tommy needs a woman like you in his life"

"Eh you don't even know me"

"No but since I've been talking to you, I know…I just know you are what Tommy needs"

"Well what do you want me to do about it? I can't do anything if he won't talk to me! He just keeps brushing me off and pushing me away! So I'm going home!" I shouted reaching down for my bag but my hand clasped nothing but air.

"Fuck! I left my bag in his fucking room!"

I saw a grin appear on his face and I was just about ready to slap it right off his face.

"Well you better go back up and get it"

"I'll just leave it" I sneered into his face.

He held me in place, his eyes getting a glaze over them.

"Let me go!"

He grabbed me by my shoulders and looked into my eyes.

"No, go on…you know what to do…you know where his room is"

I felt a tear roll down my face and I stopped struggling against him. I mustered up all my strength and pushed him one last time causing him to fall back against the bar. I stormed past him and out into the lobby and out into the evening sun. A warm wind blew past my face drying my cheeks as I waited for a taxi to arrive from the rank. I hated Tommy and I hated Tommy's family.


	11. Chapter 11

**Hello everyone! Thank you for all your lovely thoughts on this, I love all my readers :) Also if you're on facebook check out Tom Hardy Portraits, his stuff is unreal! He is amazingly talented. So check it out if you would like and tell him Rose_Bud_SQ sent you if you decide to like the page :)  
**

**So here we go, enjoy and as usual leave a review I love reading your amazing thoughts :) Love you all! xoxo  
**

**-Sailor  
**

But as I calmed down I knew I had to go back up and get my bag because my passport and tickets were sitting in the front pocket. I walked back into the hotel but avoided the bar heading to elevator and pressing the button. This was the last thing I wanted to do, but I had to. I went to the door and knocked three times. In the heat of the moment I left the key card on the table. No one answered so I knocked again.

"Who is it?" I heard Tommy grumble from the other side of the door.

"It's me, let me in or throw my bag out to me" I snapped.

"Why should I?" he snapped back.

I growled loudly, took a few steps back and kicked the door. I was in no mood for this. The lock snapped instantly and the door swung open. Tommy was sitting on the couch looking beyond me like I had just quietly stepped in. I saw my bag on the ground under his legs that were resting on the coffee table. I stormed over and went to grab it but he sprung up and pulled it behind his back.

"Give me my fucking bag" I growled.

"No! We…we have to talk" he said staring at the ground.

"Oh now you want to talk?! Ok talk" I shouted feeling my gamy lung starting to hurt.

Except he just stood there, like he always does with that stupid look of total disinterest as if he was waiting for me to say something. But I wasn't about to be the first to talk, I already said my piece.

"Erika…you have to understand…"

He took in a deep breath and I heard it catch in his throat like he was about to say something but stopped.

"Well?" I snapped crossing my arms.

"You have to understand…I find it quite hard to explain my feelings…"

"No, are you serious?" I snipped.

"Will you just shut up and let me talk?!" he sighed angrily.

"Oh I'm sorry, am I acting like a total prick?"

"Yes you are" he sneered through gritted teeth.

"Well you would know"

His nostrils flared and he threw down my bag, stormed over and grabbed my shoulders, pushing me against the wall.

"If I didn't love you so much, I would have thrown you and your shit out on the street long time ago!" he growled.

My whole face dropped and what he had just said registered with him.

"What?" I wheezed.

"What?" he responded in a tone that was just as shocked as mine.

"What did you just say?"

His eyes looked down at the ground, then back up to mine, then every which way except at me.

"Tommy…"

But his lips cut me off mid-sentence, forceful and focused. I grabbed his face clutching him closer to me as I kissed him just as forcefully. He broke away, his eyes still clenched, tears forming in the corners. He bit his lip slightly before kissing me again, lightly this time, his lips just brushing off mine.

"So what are you gonna seize up on me now?" I whispered, running my fingers through his hair.

"I'm trying not to…but it's hard. It's my natural instinct…I've been like this for years"

I nodded and didn't say anything. Now was not the time for a sarcastic comment. It was like hunting deer, you have to be quiet and take your time, no sudden movements or you'll spook him and he'll run, never to return.

"Tommy I understand, but you have to let someone in, you can't push everyone away as much as you want to… I only recently learned that lesson myself"

Tommy's eyes met mine and I saw that look, the look that went with his voice that night on the phone. He looked lost.

"My poor Tommy" I whispered as my fingers ran down the back of his head to his neck. I watched as a tear escaped his eye and ran down his cheek.

I pulled him into a rough hug, holding him close as if I was trying to stop him from shattering into a million pieces.

"Erika, are you gonna stay for the fight?" he whispered.

"Do you want me to stay?"

He didn't say anything, all I could feel was his body moving up and down as he took in a deep breath. I brought my hands up rubbing his back before resting on his traps. I needed him to say it. Call it selfish or whatever, but I needed to hear him tell me he needed me. That would be the breakthrough…and I could admit that I needed him just as much. I wasn't about to say it first, it's a sign of weakness. But that right there, that was our problem…we couldn't even admit that to ourselves. His breath shakily snaked past my ear, but nothing came after it. I pushed him off me and looked into his eyes. His stare looked up from the ground and met mine but he still remained quiet.

"Do you need me to stay?"

"No…I don't need anyone" he whispered.

"Well then I'm not going to stay then"

"Why?"

"Because there's no point in me being here if you don't need me" I snipped.

"Erika…"

"No, you've given me the cold shoulder for too long…and I know if I stay I'm gonna be in for it again. It's who you are and until you can admit that you want me here…I should go home. I'm not the kind of girl who will just take shit 99% of the time for that 1% of love and happiness" I said taking my bag off the floor.

"Where are you going?" he mumbled.

"Home"

"But what about what you said…that I mean a lot to you"

"You do Tommy…but I'm not willing to put myself through all this. I've got enough shit going on in my life"

"You're not going back" he said grabbing my bag.

"Why not?"

"Because…because what about Peter?"

"Well that's a chance I'm gonna have to take…bye Tommy" I said opening the door.

But then he pulled my arm back and pulled me into him kissing me deeply but I pushed him away.

"No, Tommy that isn't going to make everything better all the time!"

He backed away slightly looking at the ground, his hand against his lip.

"So what, you gonna just up and leave?" he said, his usual 'I don't give a fuck' tone returning and I knew he was going back into himself.

"Yes"

"But…"

"Bye Tommy"

"Erika!"

I turned around looking straight at him. "What Tommy?"

Except he didn't say anything, he just stood there looking straight threw me.

"I'm fucking leaving" I said taking a step out.

But I heard a loud thud causing me to turn around and saw Tommy remove his fist from the plaster in the wall.

"I hate you Erika!" he screamed.

"Well you're lucky aren't you?! Coz I'm leaving now and I don't intend to come back!"

"I hate you! I hate…I hate what you do to me!"

"What?" I screamed scrunching up my nose.

"And I hate that I don't want you to go!" he roared, before punching another hole in the wall.

"You're fucked up in the head Tommy Riordan!"

"And so are you!"

"Fuck you!" I screamed kicking the door.

"And that's why…I know…I know that we…are meant for each other!"

"You can't be serious…"

"See! That right there! You say I can't open up and then I do and you just throw it back in my face!" he shouted striding over, spitting in my face.

"I didn't! You're not the only one with problems Tommy! Are you the only one who is allowed to have emotional problems?"

"No but don't throw everything back at me all the time!"

"I didn't! I didn't fucking say anything!" but then my gamy lung started acting up, causing a searing pain to pulse through my torso. "Tommy…just go, just go and fight" I said stepping out of the room and walking down the corridor, feeling more upset with Tommy than ever. I glanced behind me as I headed for the stairs and saw him staring at me from the doorframe.

I hopped in a taxi and headed to the airport.

* * *

"You've got to have something…anything leaving as soon as possible" I begged with the woman behind the airline desk.

"No, I'm afraid we don't and everything is booked up…your ticket is non-transferable as well. You're booked on a flight back to Pittsburgh on Tuesday"

"But you have to have something!"

"I'm sorry but you have to understand it's the Fourth of July weekend…it's one of our busiest times of the year…I'm sorry but I'm afraid you're stuck in Atlantic City" he said and I saw her nose twitch smelling the alcohol off my breath.

"I can't be stuck here…" I said burying my face in my hands.

"Well it's one of the best weekends to be in Atlantic City" she smiled. "Plus that big fight thing is happening so there are plenty of guys around, very good looking ones as well" she winked. But her smile died seeing I was in no mood for this.

I shrugged my shoulders and waited for her to offer me a lifeline but she didn't.

"I'm sorry Miss…I can put you on standby but all the flights are full"

I sighed loudly and grabbed my bag heading over to the seats. What was I gonna do now? I threw my head back and saw a television over in the corner. Shockingly, Sparta was on. I turned away and closed my eyes.

* * *

Three hours later, I was still on standby. I was still sitting the same spot. I was still ignoring the Sparta coverage. I was still trying to ignore Tommy who was swimming around in my mind. I looked up and saw there was a flight leaving in an hour. I prayed someone got sick and had to pull out.

"Anything?" I called over to the woman.

"I'll call down now and see but I highly doubt it" she said with that sad smirk.

"We have some breaking news here about the enigma that is Tommy Riordan…we have learned that Tommy Riordan is actually Thomas Conlon who went AWOL from his company after his brother in arms was killed in Iraq…that was why his service records couldn't be found"

I looked up and saw a team of military police marching into the stadium and into the dressing room. I jumped out of the metal chair and ran over to the TV. A solider appeared on the screen looking teary eyed.

"Tommy Conlon saved my life…the water was coming in from everywhere…the pressure was too much for us to push the door…we were just about to give up but then we saw the back door open up and Tommy dragged us out. Tell Tommy thanks from me. You saved my life brother" he said before wiping his eyes. I felt something deep within my chest ache.

"Tommy Riordan, actually Thomas Conlon is fighting in Sparta this weekend and is due to be arrested for deserting his unit after the final fight tonight" said one presenter.

"So wait…does that mean that the final tonight is between two brothers?" said the other presenter.

My whole body went numb.

"O wow, I think you're right…yes Tommy Conlon verses Brendan Conlon. Watch out mom! Lock up your china the boys are at it again!" they both laughed, like the fucking tools they were. This was anything but funny. And Tommy was going to have to deal with it on his own. He already had all this shit going on in his head and then me arriving like a tool and putting more unnecessary pressure on him. What was wrong with me…if I was Tommy I would have told me to fuck off a long time ago…even if nothing happens with Tommy and me, I knew we had too much history now for me to leave him. Also, I was one of the few people that knew the problems between the Conlon brothers. Look at me considering other people's feelings…I was slightly shocked at myself.

"Miss…there is a seat available!" she called over. "Miss!"

"What?" I said not really listening.

"There is a seat available…there will be a last minute fare on it though"

Then something clicked in my head. I raced over, grabbed my bag and headed for the door.

"Miss…do you not want the seat?!"

"No thank you! I have to stop being a selfish bitch!" I yelled back as I ran back out to the taxi rank, looking at her bewildered expression.


	12. Chapter 12

**Hello everyone! How is everyone doing? New chapter so I hope you enjoy it :) I also have a Cape Wrath story going if you want to check that out, Tom Hardy's dark, disturbed character is amazing to write about :) So here we go, enjoy and sure leave a review :) Thank you to all my lovely readers and reviewers, you're all amazing :) xoxo**

**-Sailor**

I hopped straight in a cab and back to the hotel. I raced back up to Tommy's room but there was no one there. He was probably already at the stadium warming up. I dropped my bag in Tommy's room before legging it back down the stairs and out onto the pier that was flooded with people. I tried as hard as I could to get through them as fast as possible but most of them were drunk and enjoying the rides and acts that was going on all around them. I pushed past most of them but hit a wall when I reached the stadium. The line to get in was ridiculous and they all had tickets, how was I supposed to get in? I stood anxiously in the queue as I inched ever closer. But just as I was planning on pushing my way up to the front, I saw someone walking past the glass doors. It was Tommy.

"TOMMY!" I screamed causing all the other fans around me to look at me, disgust and annoyance on their face.

Someone stopped him and was asking him questions, most of which he just shrugged off and looked around with that look of disinterest he uses with me.

"TOMMY!" I screamed again, my voice straining again. He didn't look up at all and the guy finally let him go and he continued walking. I had had enough of this. I jumped over the rope we were queuing along and ran up to the huge men at the doors.

"Tommy!" I yelled again but he still didn't hear me.

"Ticket holders, queue behind the rope please"

"No dude, you don't understand. I'm with Tommy, Tommy Conlon!"

"Yea sure, I've been hearing that all night, seems Tommy got alotta girlfriends. I didn't let them in and I ain't letting you in"

"No! You don't understand, I really am Tommy's girlfriend"

I felt my mouth go dry as I said the last word.

"Yea sure you are. Now you either get back in line or I ain't letting you in at all"

People from behind me yelled and shouted saying I wasn't about to skip the queue, they were here since blah blah blah but nothing was stopping me getting to Tommy. A few even went so far as throwing empty beer cans at me.

"If you get Tommy and bring him out, he'll vouch for me"

"Ok…supposing you are who you really say you are. Why you ain't already in there with him? Supporting him? Why you out here?"

He just asked the question that everyone was dying to know the answer to, including myself but I didn't have the answer.

"Exactly" he smiled triumphantly thinking he had outsmarted me. "Now go back in the line"

I turned and walked back down a few steps but saw immediately that my place was gone. This wasn't how it was all going to end, not like this. I turned back around and saw him flipping through some pages clearly seeing whose name was there and whose wasn't. I started into a run before hopping over the rope he had blocking off that entrance. I punched him lightly in the nose just to stun him really while I made my run for the open door.

"Fuckin' stop her!" I heard him yell and within minutes there were guards and stadium staff hot on my heels. I pushed my way through the crowd which was easier for me than for them because there was only one of me and I was smaller and lighter on my feet. I thought I saw Brendan up ahead but just as I was about to yell his name I felt someone grab my feet and I fell, face down on the floor.

"Brendan!" I screamed just as two more guys jumped on me and I tried to wriggle out from under them. Brendan turned and brow furrowed clearly wondering who, if anyone just called his name. I suppose looking down at the floor wasn't the first choice. But luckily all the security caught his attention. He looked down and his eyes widened seeing me lying there with mountains of security men on top of me.

Lucky for me, Brendan was street wise.

"What are you fuckers doing to my missus!" he roared.

"What?" they all gasped.

"Get the fuck off her!"

"She jumped over after we refused her…" one huffed.

"Let me guess she told you she was my wife you didn't believe her, you fuckers! When this is over you can expect to hear from my attorney!" he said lifting me off the ground and wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

"Not letting my wife in, what kind of show you running here!" he yelled as the other fighters turned to listen.

"Did you see that? Attacking not just a woman, but my wife!" he screamed as he walked me in through the double doors that were only for fighters and VIP's. I couldn't help but laugh a little at Brendan's outburst. He turned to look at me as soon as the doors were closed.

"You came back, kid" he smiled.

"I know…there's just something about Tommy…"

"Hey you don't have to explain or justify anything to me" he smiled.

"But you're fighting Tommy, surely…"

"It doesn't matter, he's still my brother. And if someone who means something to him is in trouble…I'll do what I can to help. We're brothers at the end of the day"

I reached over and hugged him.

"Do you think I have time to see him or?"

"I don't know…the military police are guarding his dressing room, make sure he doesn't run"

"Hey Brendan! C'mon man we gotta go!" I heard a guy running up to us shout.

"Who's this?" he asked looking me up and down. I'm assuming this guy was his trainer.

"This is Erika, Tommy's girlfriend"

I got a slight pang in my gammy lung. Still wasn't used to that.

"Tommy's got a girl?" he asked in the exact same shocked tone that Brendan did.

"Well…" I started just to be an awkward arsehole but Brendan cut across me.

"Yea he does, she had a little trouble getting here…didn't ya?" he smiled down at me knowing he didn't mean my fight with security.

"It was nice meeting you but I gotta take your brother in law away"

"Right yea, Erika go find a place to sit down and I'll probably see you after the fight" he said with a sad smirk. He knew what he had to do, but I wouldn't imagine it made it any less painful. But I couldn't concentrate on that, I needed to get to Tommy.

* * *

I looked over to where the light shone out of the opposite side of where Brendan walked. That would be my best bet I'm assuming, but like Brendan said the military police were guarding all entrances and exits.

"Could all fans please take their seats, the fight will begin shortly" I heard the announcer say and I felt sick with worry.

I raced over to the door but two military guards stopped me.

"Are you authorised to enter here ma'am?" one spoke.

"I'm Tommy's girlfriend that gives me some authority and standing I would imagine" I snapped.

They both looked at each other and turned back.

"Sorry ma'am, no one in or out"

"Please you don't know what I have been through to get here…you can't stop me now, not that I'm so close. I need to tell him something!"

"Whatever you have to say to him can wait until after the fight can it not?" the other piped up.

"No it really can't!"

"Well I'm sorry but you can't go in, we have to watch Mr Conlon to make sure he doesn't run, he's a deserter after all"

I bit my lip, trying not to lose my temper. No one here understood him.

"No…"

Then I felt two hands on my shoulders. I turned around and saw a huge pair of hands of a stadium official.

"Ma'am, could you please take your seat?"

"No…I have to see Tommy"

If I have to explain this to one more person I might totally lose my mind.

"I'm sorry but we can't allow you in" piped up the military guard.

"Yea we can't, no one in the fighter's dressing room at this time" joined in the stadium official as soon as the guard stopped talking.

"Guys! Neither of you understand!" I yelled. "I need to see Tommy Conlon!"

"Why, who are you to him?"

"I'm…I'm his girlfriend"

"Sorry, can't allow it" the stadium official mumbled before dragging me over to a free seat and popping me down in it. I was two rows from the arena and could actually smell the sweat, which made me ill.

I let out a huge breath, my knees beginning to shake glancing around at all the screaming, drunk MMA fans who were waving their t shirts around screaming, demanding the match to start now. Clearly they were out for blood while I felt a blood clot forming in my brain with worry.

"I don't think this has ever happened before, two brothers fighting in the final!" shouted the commentator.

"I know! I hear they were asked to come to a press conference and discuss it but Tommy Conlon declined to do any interview with his brother…"

"Sounds to me like there's no brotherly love lost between these boys!"

"I know lock up your China Mom the boys are at it again!" they both laughed.

Wankers. This was anything but funny.

Then the whole stadium went dark and a booming voice came across the intercom.

"Ladies and gentlemen! Let's go to waaaaaaaaar!" screamed the intercom making the whole stadium stand on their feet and roar.

I got a cold shiver running through my whole body as the lights from each side suddenly lit up and I saw the shadow of the two Warriors fall across the floor. I bit my hand as I saw Tommy walking out, his black hood blocking everything around him from his sight. I was going to call out but I couldn't bring myself to, besides he wouldn't have heard me. He walked out to no music, nothing just the voices of his fellow marines, who still supported him, ringing out around the stadium giving me goose bumps as I bit the back of my hand harder, my knee shaking furiously.


	13. Chapter 13

Hello everyone! First of all, let me apologise sincerely for not updating any of my Tom Hardy stories including The Take: Freddie Jackson, Cape Wrath: Jack Donnelly and Forrest: Listen as the nightingale sings. I literally have had no time to write whatsoever, I have college exams coming up really soon and I've been studying so much. Trust me, I am not having any fun whatsoever and I would totally prefer writing my Tom Hardy stories for you lovely people :) But unfortunately I can't. I will try and get something written if I get any free time whatsoever but it still could be a while for which I am sorry. I promise once I am finished and get time again I will be right back to writing, I promise I have no given up on my stories, I still want to continue and take them further. I love you all for your wonderful patience and I am sorry once again :( -Sailor


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